Things you must certainly demand are honesty, truthfulness, respect and trust. But certain things must never be demanded, which once demanded significantly hurt their dignity. A wise person must keep in mind that his accomplice also carries the same needs of privacy, dignity, and concern for their family. Asking them to abandon all these means debilitating your relationship. Here are 4 of them.
- Don’t pressurize them to let go of their past relations – You may not like your accomplice’s closest friends. You may think they are a waste of time. You are entitled to your opinion. You can impart your worries to your accomplice but you can’t force them to accept your opinion unquestioningly. After all, those people are their closest friends. Who doesn’t treasure their oldest relationships? They certainly feel an incentive in keeping those relationships alive. Anyway, the choice must be theirs and only theirs whether to keep those friends or not. Besides, you must try to be polite to some extent to them.
- Don’t accept them to change for you – If they hate dancing, don’t force them to accompany you to the club. They may come voluntarily but the choice needs to be theirs alone. Also, most people keep carping the defects in their partner’s personality. Remember, their personality is their own making. It is shaped by their desires, goals, ambitions and plans. Try to give them some space, some liberty in regard to these issues. If they truly want to change themselves, the feeling must originate from within. You can act as a catalyst but not as an agent of change.
- Don’t hold your partner accountable for your financial comfort – It is unfair to assume your accomplice as being so immaculate as to share your financial burden completely. They have their own obligations to fulfill. If anything seriously troubling happens, do share it with your partner and try to reach a solution. Maybe, you need to spend less or adopt a more preservationist approach to spending. Maybe, you need to look for additional sources of salary. Discuss these things out. If they must help, it must be voluntary and coercion-free.
- Don’t ask them to abandon their passion – You might see their passions and hobbies as being totally futile. It’s okay. But for them, they are a part of their personality. Asking them to abandon these means asking them to give up a part of themselves. Yes, you can always involve your accomplice in learning newer, better things. But always give them time to pursue their own interests otherwise it might result in potential anger.